The anti-post

(Wherein I talk about how and why I've not been posting all sorts of regular hilarity and awesomeness. A.K.A. I try to write myself into a topic.)

I have been having some blogger's block lately. I am super-busy with my three kids most of the day, and when I finally sit down to write SOMEthing, ANYthing--bupkis!

My IRL (in real life) friend Karen said a similar thing the other day.

(I think she did anyway. Though I couldn't find it in the last few months' posts. So either I didn't read closely enough or "the other day" really means "last fall" in my head now. And with the way time is passing at breakneck speeds for me, it wouldn't surprise me.)

You'd think that with the above intro, I'd be announcing that my creativity and wit have returned and that I'm bringing awesome back to my blog.

Weren't you listening (reading)? I've *still* got three kids, you know. And with all my bragging of late about how good of a sleeper Ella is, baby girl has decided to teach me a lesson about humility and has awakened herself every two hours for roughly the last 48.

So, yeah. TOtally not feeling the humor or the thought-provoking or even the Idol chatter.

In the absence of those albeit nice things, I hope you'll indulge me as I opt for a bit of Random.

I came across a quote the other day, and it really ministered to me. As Brian Bailey likes to say, "that'll preach." So, here it is: "Failure is an event, not a person. Yesterday ended last night."--Zig Ziglar. Whew! Isn't that good stuff!?

Why is it so easy to label ourselves a failure in this life? Is it information overload? Don't we start thinking: "How can I ever live up to the entire zeitgeist of expectations placed on me?"

I keep having these unfinished thoughts flicker in my brain about what success is, how we define it for ourselves and others. How much time we spend seeking after it. Or happiness. Or contentment. Or whatever you want to call it. What if we're too busy looking for it, to actually find it? What if we have no idea what we're looking for, and miss it all together.

It's no coincidence that I'm having these thoughts while also struggling to find the balance between letting my kids "be kids" versus just sitting by idly while they break yet another toy or put another dent in the wall.

I think it's all connected. Is my hope in stuff? Is it in myself and my own abilities? Is it in what others think of me? What do I treasure? How do I know that all my striving in this world actually amounts to anything?

It points me to a passage in scripture that I learned a long time ago but have yet to embrace in the deepest places of my being.

Matthew 6:19-21 (NIV)

Treasures in Heaven

Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

♦