At least I want to anyway.
Bedtime has gotten to be a battlefield again. I don't know when it happened. Kinda snuck up on me, insidious-like. I mean, I've been putting the boys to bed at the same time in the same room for a long time now. And I don't remember ever having so much trouble getting them to be quiet and go to sleep. Sure, they used to giggle and laugh and carry on, but only once in a blue moon and never two nights in a row. It is every night right now. Nothing in my discipline bag-o-tricks is working either--they just laugh it off which is irritating as all get out. At the end of the night, when they've finally fallen asleep out of sheer exhaustion (not because they are obeying me), I am beyond all reason completely at my wit's end and have "lost my cool" more often than not. Let's just say that raving lunatic would only be a slight exaggeration.
Two weeks ago, when I was only just starting to be frustrated by this, school was looming. I knew we would have to kick it into high gear and work on getting the boys a reasonable amount of sleep. So I went about trying to "fix" this. I tried to put them to bed earlier, separate bedtimes, running their energy out at the park before bed, and the like. The one time that separate bedtimes actually happened, it did work, but I haven't been able to do it again for whatever reason. And nothing else I've tried has had any positive results. I've considered moving one of their beds into Ella's room, but I really don't want to disrupt HER sleep in addition to theirs.
Sooooooo, does anyone have any suggestions? I am open to anything, ANYthing. I'm so completely frustrated and defeated.
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Moving on.
I'll end on a funny story. Cooper helped me take out the trash this morning before school. And by that I mean he ran to the curb to show me where to put the trashcan :). I love how he wants to be with me all the time and be a good helper. It really is quite endearing. Anyway, as we were walking back toward the garage, he noticed that one of our neighbors' houses had an American flag hanging in the post. He got really excited and said, "Look, it's 'Bama!" As in Obama (not Alabama, just to be clear). Too funny. And what a smart boy he is to make that connection!
Well, the girl is waking up. Off I go. Can't wait to read your remedies for our bedtime woes!
p.s. By all early reports, Jackson's having a grand time at school. And though I miss him, I am enjoying my time with the littles. Win-win!
Monday, August 24, 2009
Banging my head against the wall
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Time for a whipping. :)
ReplyDeleteCould you let Chris put them to bed on a weekday night??
ReplyDeleteI'll be interested in people's thoughts!
ReplyDeleteYou ever read any John Rosemond stuff? How old are your boys? If they are age 3 or older this will work.
I feel like his advice would be tell them to go to bed once. Tonight say, "Listen boys, Mommy is not going to fuss tonight. I expect you to go to bed. If I hear you carrying on & playing there will be a consequence".
Tuck them in, turn around and walk out.If they disobey (and they will!) don't worry, fret, fuss, make a big deal, etc. Let them fall asleep when they do, even if it's midnight.
Think about a privelage that is very important to each of them. If you let them watch TV after school, or drink juice with dinner, or whatever they usually do that they enjoy. When the time comes tomorrow say, "I'm sorry, you won't be watching TV this afternoon."
"WHHHHYYYYYYY????" "Because last night mommy told you to go to bed and not play and you chose to disobey. This is your consequence"
At this point they will freak but you just very simply explain using as few words as possible (that is key), "Every choice has a consequence. Last night you chose to play instead of sleep so this afternoon you get no TV." And then turn around and walk away (this also is very key), not engaging in any sort of arguement, discussion, etc.
Don't know if that makes sense, but we love his approach. Very no-nonsense and straight-forward.
Expecting the first time obedience takes away the nagging we used to experience. And there is always a consequence for disobedience. It can be a spank right then or a delayed consequence. Let us know what you do and how it works!
I agree alot with Bugs and Sunshine. We did/and still do that with Rowin and it works. Follow through on the consequences is the key. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteOne thing I learned from the wonderful book I wrote about is that the goal is not obedience--teaching them to protect your relationship is. There is a great section in the book that I want to email to you. I will try to send it on Facebook in a pdf file. If that doesn't work, I may need your email address. I love Danny Silk's approach to bedtime, and it has helped us a lot!!!
ReplyDeleteI'm getting some really great feedback on this--both here and on facebook.
ReplyDeleteI'll try to compile everything and post a follow-up.
Thanks everyone!
Hi! My name's Wendy and I went to Hendrix with Chris. I just want to second what Bugs & Sunshine said. I was going to post just that but saw that she beat me to it!
ReplyDeleteWe read a lot of Rosemond and his stuff is GREAT! No excessive talking, explaining, psychology mumbo-jumbo. Just good, common sense stuff.
A lot of it has to do with taking the drama out of your actions and acting like you don't care. VERY HARD. But it works.
Here's my blog, since your comment screen asked for it:
www.wendy-thelittlethings.blogspot.com