The anti-post

(Wherein I talk about how and why I've not been posting all sorts of regular hilarity and awesomeness. A.K.A. I try to write myself into a topic.)

I have been having some blogger's block lately. I am super-busy with my three kids most of the day, and when I finally sit down to write SOMEthing, ANYthing--bupkis!

My IRL (in real life) friend Karen said a similar thing the other day.

(I think she did anyway. Though I couldn't find it in the last few months' posts. So either I didn't read closely enough or "the other day" really means "last fall" in my head now. And with the way time is passing at breakneck speeds for me, it wouldn't surprise me.)

You'd think that with the above intro, I'd be announcing that my creativity and wit have returned and that I'm bringing awesome back to my blog.

Weren't you listening (reading)? I've *still* got three kids, you know. And with all my bragging of late about how good of a sleeper Ella is, baby girl has decided to teach me a lesson about humility and has awakened herself every two hours for roughly the last 48.

So, yeah. TOtally not feeling the humor or the thought-provoking or even the Idol chatter.

In the absence of those albeit nice things, I hope you'll indulge me as I opt for a bit of Random.

I came across a quote the other day, and it really ministered to me. As Brian Bailey likes to say, "that'll preach." So, here it is: "Failure is an event, not a person. Yesterday ended last night."--Zig Ziglar. Whew! Isn't that good stuff!?

Why is it so easy to label ourselves a failure in this life? Is it information overload? Don't we start thinking: "How can I ever live up to the entire zeitgeist of expectations placed on me?"

I keep having these unfinished thoughts flicker in my brain about what success is, how we define it for ourselves and others. How much time we spend seeking after it. Or happiness. Or contentment. Or whatever you want to call it. What if we're too busy looking for it, to actually find it? What if we have no idea what we're looking for, and miss it all together.

It's no coincidence that I'm having these thoughts while also struggling to find the balance between letting my kids "be kids" versus just sitting by idly while they break yet another toy or put another dent in the wall.

I think it's all connected. Is my hope in stuff? Is it in myself and my own abilities? Is it in what others think of me? What do I treasure? How do I know that all my striving in this world actually amounts to anything?

It points me to a passage in scripture that I learned a long time ago but have yet to embrace in the deepest places of my being.

Matthew 6:19-21 (NIV)

Treasures in Heaven

Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

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How 'bout some more baby pics?

I heart baby tights!

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I just love him already!

Samir Harwell S. was born to Amy and (her husband) Vivek this morning at 9:30 (Michigan time), weighing in at 9 pounds and measuring 20 inches long. His name means "the wind."

Chris and I are thrilled to have another nephew!! We are already wishful-thinking through ways we could meet him before Thanksgiving. Who knows? We just might be crazy enough to try to pull off Summer Road Trip '09! :)

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Our family is getting bigger. . .

. . .and I'm not directly responsible :).

My sister Amy is going for a scheduled c-section tomorrow. My new nephew will make his debut around 8:30 a.m. eastern time. Somehow, they've managed to keep the name a secret for the entire 9 months, again. I do not know how they do this, as I tell anyone who stands still long enough as soon as we pick out a name.

So, be looking for a post (hopefully with pictures) announcing his arrival and his name. And please pray for a healthy delivery for baby and his momma!

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Three Months Old (yesterday)

(A.K.A. They're getting so big, the Ella edition)



I love this little girl. LOVE!

She is an amazing baby. Very predictable. Sleeps through the night. Every night. She eats well, comforts easily. Loves to be held. Smiles at her brothers. Coos at Daddy. (Isn't the third one supposed to be difficult, so you can make the "never again" decision more easily? :)

She sucks her thumbs contentedly. (Her brothers never really did, though I have pictures of each of them doing it once.) She takes a paci well. Loves her elephant lovey. Will tolerate the bouncy seat, but I think she prefers the swing--even though it makes her socks come off and results in cold feet. She's patient with me as I dress her in all manner of impractical outfits. She rarely gets inconsolable, but the few times that she has were easily conquered by a nice, relaxing bath. She will sit there in her tub, still sighing reflexively from the otherwise-forgotten fuss and just chill as I pour the water onto all of her, taking my sweet time.

She's been sleeping in her own crib at night for a few weeks now. I still swaddle her, but I have to use a huge blanket to do so and always leave her arms free. The crib mattress is just the perfect height for me to lean down and give her multiple kisses all over. She doesn't seem to mind too much. If I kiss her face (and I do. often.), she lifts her lip in a little Elvis-like tug, as though each kiss is the start of another nursing session. Lately, she's returned to an early morning (between 5:30 & 6:30) feeding, so we have reinstated our side-lying nursing/snuggle fest in my bed for now. I can't say I'm terribly upset about this.

She holds our fingers tightly. It calms her I think. Jackson especially loves it when she does this to him. He'll sit next to her for about as long as anything can hold his attention these days and just go on and on about how pretty she is, telling me about each little thing that she does.

She weighs close to 14 pounds now and is nearly out of all her 0-3 months clothing. She should be wearing size 2 diapers (judging by the way the size 1's become low riders on her as they expand), but I'm trying to use up the last of the 1's. She can roll from her back onto her (usually left) side, and I think she will be going all the way over any day. She can lift her head up ever so slightly from the floor and keep it there for a few seconds at a time. She's able to go longer in tummy time before becoming upset. Her legs are crazy strong; she can manage a good percentage of her weight when she stands up in my lap. She has amazing head control in an upright position. I think she's ready to rock the Bumbo!

So that's my girl. I can't believe how firmly she has positioned herself in my heart, how quickly she's growing, and how much she's accomplishing in such a short time. I love being her mommy!

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One Thing Needful

Ephesians 4:13-15
until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ. Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of men in their deceitful scheming. Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ. (NIV)

Philippians 1:6
being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. (NIV)

I've been thinking about the passages above for a while now. They come to me, by no coincidence I imagine, just after I think about how little progress I feel like I'm making in this thing called life. I really thought I'd be more put together right now. At age 30. Married. With 3 kids. And a mortgage.

But the truth is that I so often feel like I've failed at this. I spend so much time and effort chasing after goals that bring hollow victories. Collecting stuff. Ticking off a to do list. Having a photo-op. Being busy.

But none of that matters. I am beginning to feel very Ecclesiastical in my old age, I guess.

In the end, I am working toward resting in this promise--that He is completing me, that He is growing me up into Him, that I will know Truth, face to face. I cling to it and yearn for it.

Because if I try to find meaning in anything else, I am tossed by the waves and blown by the wind.

I'll give Jesus the final word here, because He says it so much better than I ever could.

Luke 10:38-42
At the Home of Martha and Mary

As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, "Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!" "Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her."

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American Idol Top 8 "Birth Years" Performances

I watched American Idol on the TiVo last night, starting only an hour after it aired. But after multiple interruptions from dinner fixin' to bedtime prep to enforcing that bedtime, it was way late when I finished. And either Skype and AI are not BFFs or I simply just tried to vote too late. So, here's my two cents, since I couldn't use my voice to vote.

First of all, booo, AI directors for allowing the show to go over by at least five minutes last night and causing most DVRs to cut off before the last performance. I think input from four judges gets a little long-winded and redundant (especially during their critique of Lil).

Secondly, I'm feelin' really old now, especially after seeing that Allison was born in 1992!

On to the contestants.

Danny Gokey - 1980 - “Stand By Me” - I really don't remember this performance much. I do know it was solid, safe, and on pitch. I've always liked Danny's voice and personality, but I remain surprised that he was ever considered a front runner. I don't know what kind of album he would make or where he fits in to the "biz." I don't think he's at risk tonight, but sooner than later he needs to step it up and wow us again and remind us why we like him.

Kris Allen - 1985 - “All She Wants To Do Is Dance” - A strange song choice, and a strange arrangement. I agree with the judges that the song overpowered Kris, this year's heartthrob. I DO believe he has a niche in the industry, and he's apparently got the look, but tonight was not good for him. He just might make an appearance in the bottom 3 after this. But I don't think he deserves to go home, with this being his only misstep thus far.

Lil Rounds - 1984 - “What’s Love Got To Do With It” - *sigh* I had such high hopes for Lil at the beginning of the season. But she just keeps going downhill, picking terrible songs for her, and becoming less and less relevant in the process. This performance was generally good pitch-wise but totally unoriginal, slow-paced, and boring. I wanted the judges to stop, just stop talking. It was painful to hear them go on and on about how "not great" it was. Yeah, we get it. Lil gets it. E.ver.y.body gets it. She wasn't great. Let's move on already; you made her cry, for goodness sake. But I will say, if she promises America she'll "bring it next week" if we vote her through only to stay incredibly average one more time, I say we call "foul." BTW, if they tell you to do a Mary J. song more than three times, don't you think you should listen to them?

Anoop Desai - 1986 - “True Colors” - I honestly groaned when I heard the announcement of this song choice. But I must say, a very nice performance, very nice indeed. I just really like Anoop. I know it's not rational because he's not the best singer in the competition or anything, but I just really want him to do well. And I'd be perfectly happy if he never wore another vintage 1985 Members Only jacket, thankyouverymuch.

Scott McIntyre - 1985 - “The Search Is Over” - I love this song. It takes me to good places in my memory and had Chris talking about the killer mix tape he made with it on there. Scott's performance was exactly like the original, same intonation, same notes, same everything. Except that Scott didn't sing it even half as well, and he added a little shrieking. And what's with the guitar? Just because Paula gives you advice, you don't have to take it! When she said a couple of weeks ago that he should try to perform without his piano, I'm quite sure she was trying to avoid talking about how mediocre THAT performance was. Anyway, I just don't think Scott's as good as anyone else remaining. I feel pretty confident that he's in the Bottom 3 this week, and he is my pick to be voted off.

Allison Iraheta - 1992 - “I Can’t Make You Love Me” - This was very, very good. Probably in the top two to three of the night. Simon advised her to show her personality a little more, but I think that's a TERRIBLE idea. What little I've seen of her "personality" has been hard enough to endure. When she talks in that low, self-deprecating voice, I want to change the channel. But the girl's got vocal chops! She should sail to the end, if she keeps this up.

Matt Giraud - 1985 - “Part-Time Lover” - Here's a contestant who's actually listening to the judges. You want me to do Timberlake? Okay. I think I'll even call him up and borrow his hat. I thought this was one of his best showings to date. So fun to watch, and he managed to make it current too--which is a term that's thrown around a lot but rarely ever actually achieved. No doubt he'll be here next week.

Adam Lambert - 1982 - "Mad World" - I like Adam; I think it has a lot to do with my fascination with all things theater. And He is by-far the best singer in the pack this year. But I've never fully understood how he's done so well on Idol. This is a popular singing contest, not auditions for Rent. Regardless, this was a flawless performance of a song I don't know that well. I would have liked to see him take it out of the soft place and jam a bit at the end, but I think all-in-all he nailed it. And a standing O from Simon--you can't beat that!

Predictions for the Bottom 3: Scott, Lil, and Kris (or maybe Anoop instead of Kris)

Should go home: Scott.

Will go home: I really don't know. Scott's just not that great. Lil's more at risk than ever. Kris got reamed out by the judges. Anoop might have bored some people to tears and/or ticked off some Michigan State fans :). It's hard to say. . .

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Sleep, sleep, and sleep some more

Somebody remind me what babies are supposed to do at this age, 'cause I can't for the life of me figure out how we should be spending our days. I feel like Ella sleeps A LOT, and, not that I'm complaining, I worry that she's not eating often enough during the day; since she is sleeping at least 10 hours straight most nights, she really needs good intake in the daytime. I also worry that she's not getting enough stimulation and interaction.

It's a good problem to have in a lot of ways. I'm sure I sound like somebody who is pretending to have troubles but is really only bragging about how great her life is when I say that I'm worried that my baby might be sleeping too much. Honestly, I feel like I get way more rest than most moms with babies Ella's age; those bleary-eyed, middle-of-the-night feedings are a distant memory to me. Of course, the minute you get too comfortable and say you're through with a certain stage is right when the child reverts back to it, but I say bring it on! I can take it, especially if she needs it.

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An attempt to catch you up

I haven't posted much in the last two weeks, and really the last month to be honest. Hm, let's see, what can I tell you about our March? Because I can't recall much on my own these days, I'm relying on the contents of my camera card to jog the ol' memory.

Probably the biggest happening was that crazy lightning strike. This is the transformer in our backyard, what's left of it, still smoking several minutes after taking a beating. Look at the way the metal casing changed shape from what appears to have been quite an explosion and what sounded to me like a terrible car crash.


We weren't the only ones who thought the event was a little out of the ordinary. When the power company workers opened the transformer to see what damage had been done, some of them got out their camera phones and began sending pictures to their friends, others saying things like, "In my 30 years at this, I've never seen lightning do THAT!"


When the power pole got hit, something sparked a fire in our yard, several feet away and on the other side of the fence.

A couple of good samaritans who just happened to be next door doing some landscaping work saw the fire and put it out before it got huge and out of control. There was much stomping and raking and water spraying. I am so thankful for them!

The other parts of the month were a little more run-of-the-mill, which is perfectly fine with me.

Some days, we got dressed to our shoes. Well, okay, not always our OWN shoes.


Some days, we stayed in our jammies for a while.


And some days, we got all dressed up with no place to go.


We played outside a lot too (have I mentioned how much I LOVE our backyard? ;), which tuckered us out.


But not during the freak, late-March snowstorm.


There was a lot of pottying on the toilet. Kind of like this, except on the "big potty" and with a bigger Jackson.


And much celebrating.


Oh, and a little bit of ham.


And through it all, lots and lots of love!

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