The Terrible Threes

It has been my experience that two year-old children are a breeze, whereas three-year-olds are very challenging for me. I would have never anticipated it as such because I had interacted with 3's before, and they are just so darn cute and funny! (cute--yes, funny--absolutely, total handfuls--sad but true) And once we got through what was supposed to be a "terrible" 2-year-old phase with each of my boys, I thought we were in the clear. Which is why I felt very ill-prepared to handle the willful disobedience that both my boys began exhibiting as three-year-olds; more unprepared with the oldest of course, but I was still holding on the the sliver of hope that Coop would be different and it turns out he's even more strong-willed and therefore less likely to obey than Jackson was at the same age--at least that is the way I perceive it.

There is little that motivates Cooper to make the right choice in the throes of a bad decision. The more urgent the situation and therefore the less time I have to instruct him, the less likely he is to listen to me. For example, he runs everywhere, including right out into the street, without a moment's hesitation. If I am saying, "Cooper, stop! Don't run out into the road! Hear my voice, what am I saying to you?", he ignores most of it until I catch up with him and bodily stop him by grabbing onto his arm--which he dislikes greatly, often fighting to release himself from my grasp. Chasing after him is not always very easy to do because I often have Ella strapped to my chest and cannot move as fast as he can. Afterward, I try to help him understand the gravity of the situation and why we have the rules we have, but I get the distinct impression that he either does not care to hear it and/or much of it goes over his head. If I do get through to him, he cries rather inconsolably because he thinks I'm "mad" at him, which crushes his little spirit. Then, there is little that is retained from offense to offense, so I have to reinvent the wheel each time he does the exact same thing. I do try to tell him before we go outside what I expect from him and why, but it does little good. He seems to have the attitude of "I'm gonna do what I want, when I want, how I want, and don't care what anyone else has to say."

I know that he is young and realize that he is not going to be able to obey perfectly or retain everything from previous discipline he's received and what the rules are without being reminded, but I do think it is reasonable to expect him to choose to obey and understand why there are consequences when he doesn't. I'm just not sure how to get us there.

Parents out there, how do you discipline your three-year-old kids (or how have you in the past)? Teachers, child development experts, and anyone else who thinks he/she has some insight, feel free to share it.

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Esther Louise and Ella Claire

(wherein I plunder my facebook feed for things to blog about)

As most of you know (because I talked about it on Facebook when it happened), my sister-in-law Margo and her husband Josh adopted a baby girl a few weeks ago. It all happened very fast, but becoming parents is something that they had been praying and hoping for for a long time now. The baby's name is Esther Louise, and she is a doll. So. . . I have a niece!

Recently, Margo & Josh had a photo shoot with a photographer friend of theirs, and I wanted to share a bit of the cuteness with all of you--especially since I am currently (still) technologically unable to post pictures of my own babies.

In other news, Esther's cousin, my Ella, has been making so many tracks with her walking and development that as of July 13th (only a few weeks after she started walking in fact) she graduated from physical therapy at her school. We just this found out last week, and it was kind of by accident which I thought was a bit odd. But anyway, she will be reevaluated in January to make sure she stays on track, and she will continue with OT (which she started July 2nd unbeknown to us--again how odd to not tell the parents about adding or dropping therapies) and speech therapy during that time. And even though it will not be in an official capacity, the PTs will still be around Ella and can observe if she has any troubles. So, yay baby!! She is climbing all over things and can now get on both the couch and coffee table all by herself. She's very proud, and while I'm that as well I'm also a nervous wreck. She is also developing several words. She can say, "mommy," "momma," "dada," "byebye," "hi" (all the time), "nightnight", and "da" which means up. I'm pretty sure I'm leaving some out here. She has comprehension of many, many more words. She also signs for "more" or "all done" during meal times, which is incredibly helpful. And she can understand lots of simple commands. Lastly, after seeing us demonstrate it only a couple of times during the Razorback game yesterday, she can now call the Hogs. I'm pretty sure this is Chris' favorite of her new skills :). I think I'll have to be on the lookout for a Razorback cheerleader outfit for her.

As you can tell, we are incredibly proud of the E's in our family.

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Book Review--Permission to Speak Freely by Anne Jackson

 "What is the one thing you feel you can't say in church?"

This question, asked by Anne Jackson on her blog in 2008, and the responses it garnered are the inspiration for her latest book, Permission to Speak Freely: Essays and Art on Fear, Redemption, and Grace.

When I learned of the opportunity to read and review this book, I jumped at the chance to do so. I have visited Ms. Jackson's blog on and off for the last few years now and am always refreshed by her honesty and willingness to tackle tough questions and topics in the Christian faith.

Thankfully, she brings the same candor to this book. Permission to Speak Freely is at once an intimate narrative of personal trials and the individual redemption that can only be found in God and also the beginning of a larger conversation of confession and healing where all are encouraged to join in, thereby waking the Church up from its misguided desire to, as the author puts it, "remov[e] all the messiness".

The book came in the mail early one afternoon last month, and I was finished reading it after dinner on the same day. Just under 200 pages, it is a quick but compelling read. The book's strength lies in its ability to elicit a visceral response from the reader. At times, my breath caught in my throat as I turned the page, wondering what would happen next. At other times, I could guess what would happen and wanted nothing more to reach out to the girl the author had been and show her the way out of the mess she was in. Or to give those so-called "well meaning" church goers that she was exposed to as a pastor's kid a piece of my mind. It also gave me pause as I considered my own opportunities to share my sins and weaknesses as a means to bring God glory.

Intertwined between the chapters housing the author's personal tale are reader-submitted pictures and postcards of secret confessions, a la Postsecret. While I think it is important to include them in order to point to the larger movement of encouraging raw honestly in the church, there was only a small sample included in the book which made the movement feel small and insignificant; it also had the effect of breaking up the flow of the main narrative to the point of making it hard to follow.

I give this book 3.5 out of 5 stars and would recommend it to to others.

Booksneeze.com provided me with a complimentary copy of this book in order for me to review it.

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How's that workin' out for ya?

When we were first married, one of the earliest things Chris and I agreed upon was the decision to send any future children we would have to public school. It stands out because it was a nice little patch of common ground to stand on during those early, stubborn years. As time passed and we had real children to replace our hypothetical ones, we revisited that viewpoint a few times and found our opinion remained the same; it even informed other choices. In fact, when we decided two years ago that we needed more space with Ella on the way, we chose the house we are currently living in largely because of the awesome elementary school nearby.

It seems that as stay-at-home moms (though I'm more of a hybrid at home/working mom, this still applies to me I should think), we tend to believe we have to spend every waking moment with our children and that anything which takes them away from us brings a certain amount of mommy-guilt. I know I had to battle this, for sure. But as I thought about it, I always came back to the conclusion that it is good for my children to be left in the care of others for a time and to learn that I will always come back for them. It's also good for me to have some alone time, to take a deep, cleansing breath, and to be renewed for when I am reunited with them.

It's not for everyone, and I'm okay with that, but this public school thing is certainly working for us right now. I get to augment the teaching that is already happening, and that is so comfortable for me. Just last night, while looking at the little DVD screen in the van, Jackson said, "O-P-E-N. Does that spell 'open'?" I almost fell over. My boy READ a word! And then we went on to talk about what it means. Just three weeks ago, he could not care less about looking at letters and sounding them out, no matter my efforts to encourage him to do so, and here he is after a couple of weeks into kindergarten and he's trying to read on his own. That makes me so happy.

Now, the bus TO the school? Well, that's a whole 'nother issue entirely and a story for another day.

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