My lovies

Even when sad, she can still take the time to look sweet for the camera.

I never thought I'd be one of those moms who wanted my kids to be matchy-matchy, but, after this picture, I think I'm sold on it. I mean, just look at the side hug action!







And, while I realize the following picture is not of my children, because it makes me smile, I thought I'd share it too. I love bundling up to watch the Hogs. Chris loves to make funny faces while bundled up to watch the Hogs. :)

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Dear Pediatricians

It is epilepsy awareness month. Right away, it brings to mind the delay in treatment Ella endured because the doctors were hesitant to believe that the cause of her strange, repetitive movements could be something as rare as infantile spasms epilepsy. And I think about so many of our IS brothers and sisters have similar stories of being dismissed or being told that it's "just reflux" or "an exaggerated startle reflex." To our local pediatrician's credit, he did try to tell the on-call neurologist at the Children's Hospital that he suspected infantile spasms in our daughter's case so that she could be admitted, only to be told to schedule Ella for outpatient follow-up in a few weeks (instead of dealing with it immediately as should always be the protocol with IS). I am thankful that Ella's outcome has been positive in spite of this, and were it not, I feel this delay in treatment would have been the cause.

I wrote the following open letter because of our experience as well as our many friends' experiences with accessing healthcare for their children. Feel free to repost.

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Dear Pediatricians,

Many of you are very good at what you do. The sheer amount of information of which you must have a working knowledge in order to do your job is astounding. Often you've given up time with your own families to take care of the precious ones in ours. You advise, you intervene, you advocate, you heal, you immunize--all for the sake of children. And you are on the frontlines--an access point to this country's healthcare system, and usually the first to address any concerns we have about our children. And we are grateful.

We parents can be a mixed blessing, no doubt. A minority among us do not take care of our children as we should, and you are left worrying and hoping that the children will somehow thrive despite their circumstances. A vast majority among us, however, want the best for our children and do everything we can to keep them safe and healthy. It follows that we worry about every little atypical thing. Often the worry is unnecessary, and parental minds simply need to be put at ease. After all, the probability that "something is wrong" is quite small.

But sometimes, we are right. And sometimes our parental guts "just know" that something serious is not as it should be with our children. Please make room for this possibility and consider all the facts before dismissing our concerns. As the parent of a child with an "ultra rare" diagnosis, I can tell you first hand that these things do happen; how can you be so sure it's not the case with the child in front of you?

Please never stop seeking educational opportunities. Familiarize yourselves with the signs and symptoms of the rarest of the rare disorders, even if the numbers are slim to none that you will ever see them in your practice. Be willing to admit that something is outside your area of expertise; do not let your pride get in the way of what is best for our children. Treat our children as you would treat your own, and help us get the answers we need.

With sincere gratitude,
Megan Daniel
2010

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Out

Taking all three of my young children anywhere by myself is hard. Hard enough that I truly count the cost of going ANYwhere. So, we stay home a lot. For example, I make late night runs to the grocery store after the little cherubs are in bed for the simple fact that I can get through my list thrice as fast without them, even when I'm sleepy.

Getting out of the house involves choosing clothes and dressing &/or assisting the kids in putting in all on, managing three pairs of socks and three pairs of shoes (well, four pairs if you count mine), checking a diaper, requesting the boys try ("just try, if you don't need to go you can get back up") to go to the bathroom, checking for coats, analyzing the dirtiness of faces and messiness of hairdos, letting the dogs out one more time, telling the boys to go get in the van, convincing the boys that they really don't need to have a drink to take with them since we'll be right back ("yes, my answer is still 'no' even if you're 'thirsty to one hundred thousand'"), buckling Ella in her carseat, seeing if there's a movie in the van player ("remember when we didn't watch movies except for long trips? That was a good rule."), giving in about the drinks so as to not hear anymore about it and going back in the house to prepare them (oh, so THAT'S why my "no" doesn't really mean "no"--yeah, I get it), telling the boys to get-back-in-the-van-what-are-you-doing-in-here, trying to find the must-have toy du jour for Cooper and usually failing only to attempt to convince him that the toy he had yesterday is perfectly acceptable, running back in the house to let the dogs back in from outside, considering whether we'll be gone long enough to require a drink for Ella, shrugging and going ahead with making up Ella's milk, looking for that special toy one more time & occasionally finding it, returning to the van only to find the boys on the riding lawnmower instead of in their seats, finally convincing everyone to get in the van and buckled with toys and drinks and movie and diaper bag, and running back in to get my purse.

See? Not. Worth. It. Most of the time.

And now I've set the stage. I'm considerate like that, dear reader.

Last night, the local chicken fingers place was the site of (yet) another school fundraiser. As I picked everyone up from his or her respective school, I decided we would just skip it. On top of the hassle of getting out, when I consider that the place we'll be going is likely to be crowded and chaotic thus prolonging the hassle I usually pass. But Jackson asked to go, since they pumped it up at school (sigh), so then I got the brilliant idea that we would just drive through--we'd still be helping out, but we'd skip all the crowded-sticky-tabled-"boys-sit-down-and-finish-your-dinner"-ness of it all. Mommy for the win!

Well, Jackson wasn't a fan of that plan. Not only did he want to go in the restaurant, he wanted to take his friend Luke with us since Jackson had gone with Luke's family to the fundraiser dinner last month. I said that we probably couldn't work that out on such short notice, and we were sticking to the drive-thru. I am resolved. I am a rock.

About that time, Luke's mom texted me to ask if Luke could tag along with us if we were going since she had a charity thing she had to go to. I realized that I had a good opportunity to return the favor from last month and Jackson would be happy to boot. I decided to take one for the team. So we stopped by to pick up Luke who was way excited to join us, and off I went with four children under six years old to the fundraiser dinner. Go big or go home, I always say.

Yes, it was as crazy as you or I could probably imagine. But we did it, and we have the memories and the picture with the great big chicken to show for it.

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New Family Member

You've already seen this picture if you are friends with me on Facebook, but I just had to share it here for those who aren't and tell a little bit more of the story. This is Abbie. We got her at an adoption drive at a local furniture store whose owners were covering the adoption fees. She is approximately five years old and is a dachshund mix (I've had to reteach myself the proper spelling of dachshund; hadn't really written it since my childhood dog, who was also a weiner dog, was living. I mean, just look at all the h's in that word; that can trip a girl up, yo!).

She is basically perfect, though I may be biased. Even three days into bringing her home, I do not know what her bark sounds like; this is a good thing, since we have nappers who need quiet dogs and also live in a neighborhood that I'm sure would not appreciate a constant barker. She is a lap dog moreso even than Freddie is, who loves to be near for a little while but does not wish to be on my lap most days. She is wonderful with the kids, and they love her so much already! Especially Ella who even seeing just a picture of Abbie on my phone last night promptly gave the screen two wet kisses. Abbie even seems to me to be house-trained already. When she wants to go out, she just comes to find me, wags her tail to get my attention and maybe jumps around a little. So far, no accidents in the house!

And the two dogs themselves are getting along pretty well. There have been a few moments where they got a little growl-y but nothing major and it de-escalated just as quickly as it escalated. I'd say neither of them are very aggressive in general, even when food is put out.

I got her microchipped yesterday and scheduled her spay for Friday morning. Here's hoping she doesn't go into heat between now and then (though at a frequency of only twice a year, I think the odds are in our favor).

I might tell you more about how we came to get a second dog later, or not, but I will say that Chris was fully involved in the decision this time.

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I went to get my son early today...

...so I could get down on my knees and look into his eyes while he talked.
To tell him I think he's wonderful.
To hold him close without distractions from his siblings for a little while.
To really see him.
To encourage him to pick a name for his favorite stuffed animal.
To wonder at his imagination.
To feel the magnitude of my role in raising him.
To be silly.
And to hold on tight to Three before it slips away.

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Ellie Pooh Bear Bumble Bee

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Happy Book Character Parade Day!

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Spiderman says...

...Happy Halloween!!

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A day late, and a blogger short

I had this wacky idea that I would try to post daily in the month of November, and then I got a new job and worked all day yesterday instead writing up an inaugural post.

And today, I am super busy--what with advocating for a sick child in Haiti and researching who I am going to vote for and getting ready for a presentation on fatherless tonight (seriously, how crazy is my life right now?), so I just have a few minutes to start today.

Bullet points:

* So yes, I got a new job, to supplement my old one. I have started as a part-time nurse at Ella's developmental day treatment school and will be responsible for medications and procedures that the children need during the day. I of course will steer clear of Ella's room so as not to disrupt her, but there are many other children at the school I will be caring for. I really enjoyed my first day, and I am looking forward to working more closely with kids again. It tickled me to death to know I was in the same building with Ella, even though I can't see her. I kissed her a hundred times when I walked down the hallway to pick her up at the end of the day, smiling at my little secret.

* Trick-r-treating was awesome this year. We've had some difficulty in previous years (cops blocking us in or getting scheduled to work without knowing it, etc.), but we finally nailed it. Took the kids to a trunk-or-treat at a my in-laws' church, and it was so much fun! Ella stayed happy in the stroller the whole time, Cooper & Jackson stayed relatively close to us and had a blast with all the games and activities, and we all slept like rocks that night. Win-win-win!

* Chris & I celebrated our 9th anniversary last week. We didn't go anywhere fancy, but we were together and had a great time. And he surprised me with chocolates, roses, and a pretty fall wreath for my mantle. My love bank is full!

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